There are some things when I read I start giggling. Like this gem> His eyes roamed around the room. Can you picture him removing his eyes so they can look everywhere. Now if the writer had said his gaze roamed around the room, there would be no laughter. Removing the body parts from the characters can always bring a chuckle or two. Perhaps if you were writing horror they might work. Unfortunately this is a trap that's easy to step into. I know I've done it a hundred times and hopefully have caught at least 99 if them, There's usually something that slips through no matter how many times you go over the script or how many editors look at the pages.
Another area where parts don't make sense. Objects don't act on their own. The car swerved. Depends on if the viewpoint character is driving or observing. If he's driving, he swerves the car. If he's watching, the car does swerve. This is an area where I have trouble making sure the viewpoint character is in the right spot for the sentence. Boots scuffed the cement. Could be her boots scuffed the cement. A stranger;s boots etc. You get the picture
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1 comment:
Great tips.
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